I am Happy

Hi, it’s now been over 3 years since my diagnosis.
I’m in a really good place now, mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and financially. It just seems like everything’s come together and I feel so stable.
Jack and I are on good terms. He got in contact, we talked and cleared the air between us. We’ve both moved on and are living our separate lives. I’m really pleased he’s been able to move on and that he is happy.

My next follow up appointment is in July. I’m still in remission. Slightly longer than I anticipated however what’s the worst that can happen? I’m healthy and don’t have anything to worry about. (I’ve probably jinxed it now)
I hope that this is the last appointment before I am given the all clear. I know the appointment is in July but I can’t help feeling slightly anxious about it. I really hope everything goes well. Fingers and toes crossed.

The grey cancer cloud is clearing, the sun is trying its best to break through. It doesn’t stop the grief I feel for my own experience sometimes. Or the pain I feel when I hear someone else has been diagnosed. This horrible disease is so powerful that sometimes it just overtakes your mind. It can make me feel upset even when I’ve had the best day. But I will always find the energy to fight the negativity and move forward.

But in the mean time I’ve got so much to look forward to. Camping trips, days out with friends, seeing family and even work. Work is just amazing at the moment. I joined a new team about 6 months ago and honestly the people make such a difference. I am progressing in my career and developing myself more as an officer each and every day. There’s so much scrutiny at the moment that I just want to work hard and put a positive mark on the job.

I know these updates seem so random. Like I said at the start of this whole blog thing I like to express my thoughts when I feel like they are crowding my thinking. I was going to post an update on the anniversary of being diagnosed back in March but so much was happening and I just tried to move on with it. I realised I probably should have wrote something, even if I didn’t post it on the blog. It hasn’t really affected me mentally but it has been playing in the back of my mind.
Moral of the story, express your feelings when you need to. Don’t wait and don’t bottle it up. We are the only people who know ourselves best. We know what works best for us to relieve stress or anxiety. So do yourself a favour and be selfish.

I saw a quote recently that is currently my favourite at the moment. So I’m going to end with that.

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire”

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