Ever get to that point where you are so sick and tired of feeling ill. Of feeling broken. Of feeling like a failure to the human race. I’ve always been broken. Right from when I would constantly pass out as a kid for no reason up until now. What’s brought this on is having a bad reaction to my third covid jab. Its painful. My arm kills and I feel like I’ve been run over by a monster truck. All because of the STUPID FUCKING CANCER!!!
I’ve felt like this so many times over the past few years. It’s like this horrible endless cycle. And I can’t stop it. I feel hopeless. Powerless.
It’s so shit.
How can someone love me. They don’t want a broken burden. How can my family and friends love me. They don’t want a broken burden either. I know I will get through this but I’m allowed to have breakdowns like this. Right? As long as I come out on the other side but it is so hard. I cant deal with myself. With my body, my mind.
Fuck you cancer. And fuck you covid. Fuck you both. I WILL NOT LET YOU FUCKING WIN!!!!!!