On Monday 18th November I started my LAST cycle of chemo. Wow that feels unreal. This fucking cancer has taken over my life, no matter how much I try to deny or ignore it, but I’m just so glad I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I had 5 days of chemo to look forward to. The Monday was okay I guess. I had the bone marrow biopsy which is still awful and doesn’t matter how many times I go it will always be just as painful. It doesn’t get easier.
This cycle affected me so differently compared to others. One of the nurses, Keeren, said that it’s not uncommon for people to have it rough during the last cycle. It’s thought that your body knows that it’s the last cycle so in your mind you’re wishing so hard that nothing goes wrong that you inevitably end up stressing yourself out which can make things worse.
I suffered from a constant awful headache, which I believe was more like a migraine even though I’ve never had migraines I don’t think. I was told by a doctor earlier in the year that migraines are under diagnosed so I think this was the case with me. A mixture of the headache, the chemo and the medication made me sick (vomit) on the Wednesday at home after chemo that day. This was unusual, I had only been sick a few times throughout my treatment. But this made me proper sick.
So I went to A&E, they gave me some pain relief and anti-sickness. They also gave me this to take home. It pretty much fixed it overnight. It was such a relief not to have that crappy headache. Then it was just 2 more days of chemo. But then I had to have my PICC line changed again! Omg when will my body understand I’m going through a lot with the chemo alone, I don’t need this shit. I had to have it changed because the site became infected. I had it put back in in its original place on my right arm. I only had six sessions of chemo left.
The rest went pretty straight forward. I was counting down the days whilst getting into the Christmas spirit. I was also looking forward to going to Brussels with Jack to celebrate the end of chemotherapy. I had my work Christmas do and went out with mates.
Then it came. The last day of chemotherapy. It was so great. I got there and had my chemo, as per usual I was the last to finish my chemo that day so I was the only patient left when I got to ring the bell. It felt so surreal and was ridiculously overwhelming. I cried of course. I smiled and my cheeks were aching from smiling. I said goodbye to the nurses who treated and looked after me for so long. I also said goodbye to my favourite chair. Then I walked out the door and breathed in the fresh evening air feeling like I could conquer anything.